Baby Won’t Stay Asleep? Let’s Talk False Start Bedtimes

And exactly how to fix them.

There it is, silence. That coveted few minutes you get after a long day of working in or out of the home, and getting everyone else sorted, now is your time…and then, the baby is awake again and crying and it’s only 7:50 pm. You, my friends, might be in a battle with false starts, so let’s talk about what they are and how to fix them.

A “false start” as parenting experts call it, is when a child wakes shortly after bed, typically 45 - 60 minutes later, and is fussing and crying but really should be asleep. They just ate, they have a clean diaper, and their room is dark and cool. Hmmm - what’s going on?

Why Do False Starts Happen?

False starts in babies typically happen for two main reasons. First, their daytime nap schedule timing is off. You see, when babies wake in the morning, they begin to produce a neurotransmitter called adenosine. As a baby grows, their levels grow too {A.K.A. their wake windows} and they can be awake longer. If they stay awake too long or have the right schedule, it causes hormonal imbalances and sometimes, the brain will trigger stimulant hormones, like a second wind, because it thinks you are trying to stay awake. So putting a baby to bed, then seeing that they rise suddenly, full of energy and ready to rock, is the result. Overtired children at any age will see this and that is why the ideal sleep schedule is so important. Children need the right balance of awake and asleep in the day, based on age, to sleep through the night. You can generate one for free here on our website and also access the other amazing free resources.

Now, if your infant’s schedule looks ship-shaped, this next reason might be the culprit. How do they settle to sleep? Are they doing so with the skill of independent sleep, or do they need you to rock them to sleep, bounce them to sleep, nurse them to sleep, a bottle to sleep, hold them, etc? All of these are examples of sleep associations and these replace the skill development that a baby needs to get long and restorative sleep. Many parents come to us with this as the issue, but upon further probing, they are still frequently waking overnight and not napping well during the day. If a baby gets overtired, it can trigger issues that set you into a cycle that are hard to break {which might be why you are here.} If you are HOW a baby falls asleep, then each time they pass through their sleep cycle, and they arouse, they then “need” you to help them back to sleep because they can’t do it on their own. This pattern will repeat after bedtime and all night until parents end up doing whatever they can to get some shut-eye.

How do you fix false starts at bedtime?

To stop a baby from waking up after they have just gone to bed, my advice is to first fix their schedule. Ensure the right wake windows to balance out the timing and levels of adenosine and give your little one a chance to get some good, quality restorative sleep. For example, at 4 months old, a baby is usually on 4 naps, two of which are unsupported {meaning they settle themselves but those naps are usually 45 - 60 minutes at this age, which is normal} or they are unsupported, meaning a walk in the stroller or a cuddle, to ensure they are restorative in nature, which is usually nap #2 o& #4, so they are set up for bedtime success. At 6 months old, they are on 3 naps, beginning by 7 months old to go to 2 naps, where they stay through 12 months of age when the shift to one nap happens.

Next, you have to ensure your baby has the right tool in their toolbelt. If they only have even been nursed or rocked to sleep, how do you expect them to know they have the tool, they never needed it. Sleep is a skill, and how we learn to fall asleep in what we believe we do to fall asleep, even if not ideal for parents. If a baby doesn’t have the skill, it can be taught, with gentle, effective, no cry-out-out necessary means, with the right guidance and approach.

When determining if this is the trouble, you have to isolate first, the above timing is right, next, the environment is right, and finally, that baby has eaten the right amount. {Babies need 24-32oz of milk in a given 24-hour period for optimal growth, breast or bottle.} Things like colic in infants I often see when sleep isn’t aligned and when a baby is fed on demand, leading to end-of-day discomfort and overtired {which my lactation counselor peers don’t like to talk about}, but which we fix frequently here at Tiny Transitions. You can have a baby that sleeps well and nurses well, they are not mutually exclusive, actually the opposite, when you fix sleep, mom and baby can thrive.

So, there you have it. That is how you fix false starts.

Are you loving the content? Let me know where you are struggling with your own sleep or babies, I need some new content ideas here. ❤️

Courtney Zentz, Founder of Tiny Transitions Sleep Consulting, is on a mission to change how the world views sleep and provide accessible sleep coaching resources for all families to build healthy sleep habits in their homes for children and adults of all ages.

As an award-winning speaker, author, and Pediatric Sleep Expert, Courtney & her team of sleep consultants work intimately with families worldwide to teach healthy sleep habits to children and adults. She wholeheartedly believes that sleep is the foundation on which a happy home is built.

Courtney is the resident sleep expert for The Mother of All Baby Showers and Prego Expo events nationwide, a frequent contributor to Forbes, Newsweek, MindBodyGreen, Naturepedic, NBC, Fatherly, Yahoo, Thrive Global, Romper, Parentology, Create & Cultivate, and Bustle, among other media outlets, and provides mentoring and business coaching to other postpartum professionals looking to take their business to the next level.

Courtney resides just outside Philadelphia, PA, with her husband Adam, and two children, Max and Sovella, and has always felt passionate about making sleep & healthy living a priority in her family's life. Follow along on Instagram for the fun side of parenting.